Author Topic: D.I.Y.  (Read 554 times)

Langstraat

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D.I.Y.
« on: November 08, 2006, 08:19:13 PM »
I'm sure you've all a tale to tell about this topic; let me tell you about my latest:

 I've had some time off to help my daughter and boyfriend move into their first house. It's an end Terrace almost 100 years old with high ceiling etc. I bought them a bedroom suite, they choose it from IKEA and although not to my taste they were very happy with it. I went round to help 'Nig' assemble it. Two wardrobes and two chest of drawers. When they were placed against the wall there was a larger gap at the top than the bottom but by using the levelling device in their bases we were able to get them both plumb to the wall perfectly. After we had assembled both and hung the double mirrored doors it was apparent that when the doors were opened that the carcass needed to be bolted to the wall to stop it toppling over. I sent Nig to my house to fetch my hammer drill and rawplugs and while he was away managed to mark the back wall where the holes would need to be drilled. I decide to save a bit of time by lowering one of the wardrobes to the floor to give us drilling space. I undid the levelling screws to make it easier and reached up to my full height and then some and eased the wardrobe towards me bracing to take the weight and carefully adjusting my grip whilst trying to hold the full length doors closed with my thumbs. As it slowly moved towards me and I realised what a weight it was; almost beyond my capability but just manageable if you get me. I was just at the point of no return to an upright manner but still in control for the final lowering to the floor. I braced myself for the final manoeuvre making sure my feet would be clear. I altered my hand's positions and took a deep breath. It was just as I was about to start the final decent when I noticed that the other free standing wardrobe's nearest door slowly started to swing open briefly reflecting my startled image in its pane. Transfixed by this mirrored sweating image in the door I was unaware that the other door had followed suit until they were both now fully open. I breathed a sigh of relief as the door stopped its movement and then watched as if in slow motion the wardrobe started to move in an arc past me but somehow maintaining my image in an upright manner. The whole wardrobe crashed to the floor with the loudest bang recorded in a confined space. I was mortified still holding the other one unsure whether to lift it back to upright or lower it to the floor. I took the latter option. The wardrobe had broken both mirrors and damaged the carcass; a right off. I was shocked/ totally gutted. When Nig came back I could see the disappointment in his face enough to say what the F--k have you done. (Couldn't really blame him. I would have thought the same) anyway to bring a close to this tale. When my daughter Jennie came home she phoned IKEA and told them about the near fatal accident, she mentioned that Nig's nephew who had been playing in the bedroom prior to the assemble was okay, it had missed him (well it did) their customer service manager said to bring the damaged wardrobe back for them to inspect.
 The end result; IKEA replaced it free of charge and gave them a 20.00 voucher to compensate.
As with Mrs Wayne Bobbit;  I had on this occasion bitten off more than I could chew and left the build of the replacement to Jennie and Nig.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and try to beat you with experience.

Graham

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Re: D.I.Y.
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2006, 10:41:48 AM »
The only DIY that sticks in my mind is whilst building my conservatory I lost three fingers in a duel with a circular saw. I did get my own back by calling on the services of the most brilliant plastic surgeon in the world. He put everything back together and you can't see a thing anymore, even have 99% feeling in those fingers. Here is a photo of the culprit, beware of him!

Langstraat

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Re: D.I.Y.
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2006, 11:19:38 AM »
I 'cringe' at the thought of that Graham Ouch  I bet that hurt.
What do you wear now Gloves/Mittens ?
Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and try to beat you with experience.

Graham

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Re: D.I.Y.
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2006, 06:46:51 PM »
The surgeon said that I would probably have to wear gloves in the Winter, but he made such a good job of it that I don't need them. There was very little pain, only a feeling like an electric shock and I stood there for ages, not daring to look at my hand, asking myself what that I had done.

In the emergency hospital a nurse asked to look at my wounds. I said to her "at your own risk", she passed out! Later on she asked me why I had not passed out, I said that a pro cyclist can take a lot of pain. Which is very true, I had learned to go through the pain barrier in a time trail at the age of 18.